The WAR Trilogy: Part One-Remembrance
by Ruby
Summary: In the future, the word 'Animorph' has taken on a new meaning...


I realized this might be a bit confusing, so... It takes place almost 300 years into the future. Reilly's the girl, Jashel is the guy. Most of this is a really long conversation. Humans are still fighting Yeerks. Basically, Animorphs is this group of fighter who do nothing but kill. Sort of their military. Basically killing machines.

  
  
  
  
  


_Three women...three generations...and the war that destroyed them all_

**The WAR Trilogy-Part One**

**__**

Remembrance

_  
The shot hurt. It hurt a lot. I fell back on the sand. The sky was darkening. The sky...   
There was one star visible. Just one. Just like there was only one Animorph who dared to fall in love.   
Me.   
The star made me remember. Remember the bygone days. Remember how I felt. The surge of joy. The suffocation of goodbye.   
Oh, yes. To fall in love. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. And I learned to care. I cared too much.   
I remembered.   
Jashel... _  
  
"Reilly! Why are you like this?"   
"I'm an Animorph. Animorphs don't aren't supposed to feelings. No emotions, no family, no friends, no...loves."   
"Why?"   
"I has to be that way! It's too hard. It's too hard to care. Either you die, or they do. Either way, it's too hard."   
"What about us?"   
"There is no us! There never was, and there never will be."   
"But I love you!"   
"You can't love me. I'm an Animorph. I can't love you. I can't love anyone. It's that simple."   
"You can love, and we can be together."   
"The rules are there for a reason! We can't be together! Don't you get it?"   
"_I love you_."   
"You don't understand. This it the way it is. This is the way it has to be. There are reasons civilians and Animorphs can't get involved. You just don't understand. You don't understand the Animorphs. You don't understand _me_."   
"_I want to_. If you let me."   
"No, no, no, no! You can't. You have to leave. You have to forget about me. We live in separate worlds. It has to be this way."   
"What if I was an Animorph?"   
"No!" I screamed. "No. I will not allow you to get yourself killed."   
"So you do care about me."   
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I'm not supposed to care."   
"I'll join the Animorphs. We can be together."   
"No, we can't. It wouldn't change anything. Animorphs don't love. They don't have any feelings. They just do what they're supposed to. Protect. They kill, every day. The lucky ones die quickly and painlessly. The others have to go through days, weeks, months, even years of torture. You can't change that. No one can."   
"We could."   
"No. Things will never change, unless the War ends. And it's not ending anytime soon."   
"I want to join."   
"No! You'll get killed. Animorphs are lucky if they live past their teens. Those that do have so many scars, so many haunting memories that they go crazy. I don't want you to suffer that. I don't want you to die."   
"Do you think I want to see you march off to your death?"   
"I choose this."   
"It was chosen for you."   
"I could have refused."   
"You were five years old! You didn't know. You didn't know it would be this bad."   
"Maybe, but now I'm in. And I have to stay in. They only way to leave the Animorphs is death."   
"They can't force you to stay."   
"Yes they can. I have a duty. I have a duty to my people. I can't just leave. I was trained for a purpose. I was trained to be an Animorph."   
"If you request a release, if you cause a ruckus and insist on leaving, they can't make you stay."   
"I'm not doing that!"   
"Why not?"   
"I don't want to leave!"   
"What?"   
"I'm an Animorph. Heart and soul. No one leaves. It's more than the rule. It's a code of honor. You don't leave. You don't desert your duty."   
"If you won't leave, then I'm joining."   
"No."   
"I'm joining."   
I bowed my head in defeat. "What good would it do?"   
"I can see you. Every day."   
"Why are you doing this to me?"   
"Doing what?"   
"Making everything so complicated."   
"What do you mean?"   
"I was ready. I was ready to die. I was ready to give my life for the people. Then you come along. You come and you make me fall in love with you."   
Silence.   
"I could die tomorrow! Or the day after. Or the day after that! I'm 16. Half of the Animorphs trained don't live that long. I'm lucky. But my luck won't hold forever. When you are to old to fight, or if you are too badly wounded, they put you on the Command. But too old is 35. Three, three Animorphs have lived that long. One because they pulled him out at 15 because both his legs and one arm were blown off. Another went crazy at 18 and they put him in a nice padded little room."   
"What about the last one?"   
"He's head of Command. He was the best fighter ever trained. He trained me once. When I was seven. He was amazing. He could take on a dozen Yeerks and _survive_."   
"So could you."   
"I can't. I'm good. But not that good. I'll probably die at 25 or so. That's pretty good. I have another ten years."   
"If you can fight that long, so can I."   
"You don't have the training. It takes years. You're probably too old."   
"Fine, I won't join. But we can still meet."   
"_If_ I stay here. And I probably won't. They could send me anywhere. Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars. And those are just the close ones. We have bases on the moons of Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, and Neptune. There's a couple on Pluto. And there are so many other bases on Earth. I'm stationed here, for now, but that will change once assignments come out. They like to move people around. They do it for a reason. They don't want anyone to get close. A month, two months, that's how long you know them. There's no time to get friendly. No one is stupid enough to get friendly."   
"Except us?"   
I sighed. "We have 247 bases. 200 are in this solar system. They could send me to Alpha Centauri for all I know. I'll probably never see you again."   
"Don't leave."   
"This is war. I do what I have to. You're job is to make weapons. My is to deploy them."   
"Hell." He whispered. And then, he kissed me.   
I pushed him back. "Jashel! We can't do this."   
"Is it another rule?"   
"They closer we get, the more painful it will be when we have to part."   
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."   
"Where did you get that?"   
"Shakespeare."   
"Never heard of him."   
"He's real old. Centuries ago."   
"Jashel. Understand this. I love you. I want to be with you. But I am an Animorph."   
"Even Animorphs can care."   
"No they can't. No one else has. I'm the only one."   
"They do, but just like you, they don't show it."   
"We shouldn't care."   
"You're human, just like they rest of us. Sure, they call you Animorphs. Make you a separate group, but you were born human. You will always be human. Humans have feelings. That can't be changed. No rule can dictate that."   
"But honor can."   
"Honor can't erase emotions."   
"But it can control them. And that is what I have to do."   
"What about us?"   
"We say goodbye."   
"I don't want you to leave."   
"Neither do I. But we don't control this world. We just live in it."   
"Will I ever see you again?"   
"Maybe. I'll...I'll tell them to invite you to my funeral."   
"Don't say that!"   
"Why not? We both know I'm going to die. It's just a matter of time. I'm an Animorph. Animorphs die."   
"Don't die on me."   
I pressed my hand against his. "I love you. That's all you can have."   
"You can give me more."   
"It's too painful. If I give you what you want, you will give me what I want. And that would be too much. I couldn't deal with losing you."   
"'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."   
"Shakespeare?"   
"I don't know. Someone said it."   
"They're wrong."   
"I think they're right."   
"In a past world, perhaps. But not in this one."   
"Because you're an Animorph?"   
"Because of everything."   
_  
I stared at the brownish sky. I could feel the blood seep out. Yes, I would die. I was 23. I wasn't going to make it to 25. I wondered where Jashel was. Safe, on Earth. They would invite him to my funeral.   
If only I hadn't be trapped. If only I quit after I was trapped. After all, what good was an Animorph that couldn't morph? But I was one of the best. And I choose to stay. It was really my choice this time.   
Jashel would have been mad. But I never told him. I never saw him again. I heard of reports of him. He was a good scientist.   
I loved him. And I lost him.   
I read up on Shakespeare. Looking for the words he said.   
Romeo and Juliet. Like us, I suppose. They had feuding families. We had a war. The war that destroyed everything. Love. Life. Happiness. Even the soul.   
Finally, as I readied to die, I felt at peace. I felt happy. The only other time was when Jashel kissed me. And I never told him. Animorphs can't feel.   
But when you die, you can. For once in your life, you are allowed to care. You can love, and feel, and...hope. Yes, hope.   
And I did. _


End file.
